Andy Serkis in The Cottage (2008)

The Cottage in the Hills

David (Andy Serkis) and his brother Peter (Reece Shearsmith) are in cahoots with the son of a lap dancing club owner to kidnap his sister Tracey (Jennifer Ellison) and hold her for ransom. But things don't go to plan as not only is Tracey tougher than they think she is but they run in to a local at the remote cottage they are holding her and then it becomes a fight for survival.

It's all about the blood bath, the top of a head being chopped off with a spade as well as a pick axe through a leg. What I am on about is where "The Cottage", a British comedy horror works best and it certainly delivers the comedy blood spurting gore when it eventually arrives. But that is the trouble you have to wait an hour for the fun to start and before that you have some rather routine bungling criminal humour where things never go to plan from phones running out of battery to one getting his nose broken by the woman they kidnapped. Sadly this hour long build up is not that amusing and kind of drags on, even Jennifer Ellison's shapely figure fails to make it more entertaining.

The frustrating thing is that as a whole "The Cottage" is a good idea; bungling kidnappers not only get their butts kicked by the woman they kidnap but then have to deal with someone who I will describe as looking like a cousin of Leatherface is packed with potential. But despite the best efforts of the cast, which includes Andy Serkis, the movie is undone by a weak first hour. If only the dealing with the deranged local had taken up the majority of the movie as that is simply where it is at its most entertaining.

What this all boils down to is that "The Cottage" is a British horror comedy which I am guessing may have been let down by the budget as whilst it finishes well with a comedy blood bath the first hour is lacking in the same sort of graphic fun.