Back in 1841 Goody (Alicia Silverstone) had a run in with vampire Cisserus (Sigourney Weaver) leaving her stuck looking the same for eternity and spending most of it doomed to be alone due to outliving everyone. That is until the 1992 when Cisserus turned Stacy (Krysten Ritter) who became her best friend, sharing a flat together, working as rat catchers together, going clubbing together and also attending night class together. It is at night class that Stacy ends up falling in love with Joey (Dan Stevens) who just happens to be the son of famous vampire slayer Dr. Van Helsing (Wallace Shawn) and when she ends up pregnant Goody knows that the baby is doomed unless they kill their stem, Cisserus. The trouble is that when you kill your stem you revert back to your real age which doesn't bode well for Goody.
There are those who will tell you that the worst vampire movie is "Twilight" but I would like to offer up "Vamps" a movie which seems little more than a spoof movie but not a good one. I am actually kind of at a loss for words at how poor "Vamps" is and it seems to me that someone came up with some ideas for jokes and then tried to put them together but failed. Take for example Cisserus, the vampire queen or what ever she is, there is a scene where she gets excited by packing bags which you suck the air out of with a vacuum, it is utter nonsense and not funny at all.
Now in fairness "Vamps" has this romantic storyline which sees Goody in danger if she helps Stacy but it only ends up as a vehicle for a lot of gags as do the other plots which sees all the vampires getting summons. Those gags go from inserting straws into rats to drink their blood to Stacy getting sprayed with paint to cover up her white skin. But the trouble is the majority of these gags end up depressingly unfunny and relying more than ever on Alicia Silverstone and Krysten Ritter likeability to keep the audience involved.
What this all boils down to is that "Vamps" ends up a huge miss for me and little more than some ideas for jokes which more often than not fall flat.
Tags: Vampire Movies