Today You Die (2005) starring Steven Seagal, Anthony 'Treach' Criss, Sarah Buxton, Mari Morrow, Nick Mancuso, Robert Miano, Kevin Tighe directed by Don E. FauntLeRoy Movie Review

Today You Die (2005)   2/52/52/52/52/5

Steven Seagal as Harlan Banks in Today You Die (2005)

Today is no Better for Seagal

Do you know what the most amazing thing about Steven Seagal is? He can turn out utter rubbish movies yet we still keep on watching them even when we know they are going to be dire at best. It is how I come to watch "Today You Die" because I knew it was going to be bad before putting it on yet still I sat there almost perversely entertained by how bad it was. Having said that "Today You Die" is in some ways better than some other Seagal movies, he is not dubbed like in some movies and whilst his stunt double does a lot of the action the action is good, although having said that we do have a movie which features plenty of footage from various other movies and is slim on plot.

As for that plot well "Today You Die" is simply a mess, a collection of holes connected by some story ideas. But to put it simply Seagal stars as Harlan Banks a former thief who having decided to go straight is set up for a crime by the nefarious Max (Kevin Tighe). It sees him thrown in side where having to deal with a few people who would like to beat him down hooks up with Ice Kool (Anthony 'Treach' Criss) who helps him escape. From there on it is a case of Harlan and Ice Kool working together to get to the bottom of who set him up and as they do they discover a connection to the law.

Kevin Tighe as Max Stevens in Today You Die (2005)

There is a lot in "Today You Die" which is put together to make up a story, we have an intro about Harlan's girlfriend Jada who has visions, we have Harlan being set up, some routine prison action, federal agents, a cool rapper type guy for Harlan to team up with but it barely connects to make anything close to being coherent. Yet whilst it is poor it is strangely entertaining because you can pick holes in it, from Harlan robbing a building with no gloves on to some cliche prison action. Talking of cliche "Today You Die" uses footage from numerous movies, from riot scenes to car chases and whilst some may not pick up on this it is perversely amusing for those who do.

Then of course we have the reason to watch "Today You Die" in the first place Steven Frederic Seagal. Now on a plus point this isn't one of those movies where Seagal mumbles a lot or is obviously dubbed but it is one of those movies where his double does the majority of the action as the cameraman does his best to hide the fact. Sadly it is what we have come to expect and as such what we do get from Seagal is his normal walk through style, smirk and a strange comedy teaming with Anthony 'Treach' Criss who plays Ice Kool.

What this all boils down to is that "Today You Die" is sadly the disappointment we have come to expect from a Seagal movie which ends up being entertaining for all the wrong reasons. It isn't Seagal's worst movie but it is not far off and yet we will continue to watch in the hope that maybe just maybe Seagal will deliver the same level of entertainment he once did early on his career.