Sinks but doesn't Completely Stink
On the centenary of the HMS Titanic's maiden voyage the Titanic II, designed by Hayden Walsh (Shane Van Dyke), leaves on its maiden voyage. Unfortunately like the original Titanic the maiden voyage is doomed as due to global warming a massive Tsunami is heading its way. Despite warnings from coastguard James Maine (Bruce Davison) and geologist Kim Patterson (Brooke Burns) it is too late and it becomes a race against time to get the passengers and crew, including James' daughter Amy (Marie Westbrook) off before a second giant wave reaches them which will smash everything into smithereens.
"Worst Movie Ever" is the phrase which seemed on a lot of people's lips when they wrote reviews of "Titanic II" which to me means they either haven't watched enough of this sort of late night rip-off action movie or they watched this and actually thought it would be up to the same level of James Cameron's "Titanic". The thing is that whilst "Titanic II" is not a good movie it is certainly not the "Worst Movie Ever" and in fact it is pretty much what I expected although I will say that Shane Van Dyke, yes son Of Barry and grandson of Dick Van Dyke, has actually done a reasonable job seeing that he wrote, directed and acted in it.
So I said it is pretty much what I expected and to give you a gist of what I mean we have the CG effects of the Titanic II which never look believable, be it when it is sailing along or when it is being ripped apart and look more like the footage you get in some computer games. It is not just the Titanic II which has these dodgy effects as those of helicopters look just as fake. Then there are the characters and ever single one is on the cheesy side with the sort of bravado riddled dialogue which is impossible not to grimace and laugh at. On top of that there are moments of action including are heroic Hayden punching a guy which yes is ridiculous but no more ridiculous when the scene was used forty odd years ago in "The Poseidon Adventure" which featured an escape attempt which is just as daft as it is in "Titanic II". But this is what you get from this sort of movie and if it was better it wouldn't be shown late at night when few are likely to watch it.
But in some ways I applaud Shane Van Dyke as he appears to know his movies with various scenes which are influenced by greater movies. He also delivers a few decent looking scenes on a reasonable budget and over plays his part in a way which will make you laugh which if it didn't would be dull. It is the same with the other actors who also give it some over the top reactions to make it fun.
What this all boils down to is admittedly "Titanic II" is not good but anyone who watches it expecting good needs a reality check. In truth it is on par with other movies especially those from The Asylum production company and as such it will entertain some in a bad movie way.