The Marine (2006) starring John Cena, Robert Patrick, Kelly Carlson, Anthony Ray Parker, Abigail Bianca, Jerome Ehlers, Manu Bennett directed by John Bonito Movie Review

The Marine (2006)   2/52/52/52/52/5

John Cena in The Marine (2006)

Cena's Indestructible like a Terminator

It was a Sunday afternoon and having just sat through a long and frankly disappointing movie I needed something of a no brainer to put me back in a good mood. Now for me there is nothing better than some pumped up, ridiculous action to put me in a better frame of mind and that is how I came to be watching "The Marine". I must add not for the first time either as I had watched "The Marine" before and whilst I knew it was utterly ridiculous I knew it was the kind of ridiculous I needed.

After being discharged from the Marines for disobeying direct orders and going all Rambo to save fellow soldiers being held hostage, John Triton (John Cena) returns home to his stupendously hot wife Kate (Kelly Carlson) and a life of normality. Unfortunately normality doesn't suit John and on his first day as a security guard gets fired for putting a trouble maker through a window. At least when Kate is kidnapped by the evil Rome (Robert Patrick - Walk The Line), a jewellery thief, he has the skills to hunt him and his gang down and make them pay.

Robert Patrick in The Marine (2006)

So as to the storyline, well there is one as you can see but man is it slim: former muscle bound marine gets to put all his gung ho know how to use when his wife is kidnapped by criminals. The movie reviewer side of my brain can't ignore the fact that this is weak by anyone's standards the but the movie fan side of my brain quite enjoys the fact there is nothing in the least bit taxing going on here. Having said that "The Marine" does have the feel about it that initially they wanted to make a serious action movie but quickly gave up and decided to turn it into a comedy action movie with intentionally cheesy dialogue and OTT action.

That leads me to the next part of the review which is the simple fact everything about "The Marine" is ridiculous, ridiculously over the top action, ridiculous dialogue and ridiculous characters. And again that part of my brain which thinks like a movie reviewer is in fits at how over the top it all is from a Police car which just happens to be a sports car being torn to bits during a car chase to a line dropped in there about the Terminator. Yet again that movie fan part of my brain which just wanted some daft entertainment found it all ridiculously entertaining especially Robert Patrick as the ultra cool Rome.

But forgetting the various sides of my brain for a minute and it has to be said that John Cena is a curious product. On one hand he has the sheer muscle mass which puts him in comparison with Arnie but then he has the face and voice which would now align him with Channing Tatum. The two together as leading man material don't really work and when that is combined with over edited action which lacks any real flow makes it frankly a disappointing movie for Cena. Fortunately Robert Patrick delivers a wonderfully over the top performance as Rome and then you do have the attractive pairing of Kelly Carlson and Abigail Bianca as well.

What this all boils down to is that "The Marine" is not a good movie plain and simple but if you want comically over the top and frankly ridiculous no brainer action it should entertain.