Almost Lost for Words
I recently caught some American Wrestling on TV and was surprised to see that Hulk Hogan was still involved, because I remember watching him wrestle 25 years ago during the 80s. Whilst he wasn't really wrestling his performance, the whole persona was better than ever and it's as if with age he has become very good at what he knows. That brings me to "McCinsey's Island" from 1998 a movie which is trying to be some sort of comedy, crime, action, adventure, spy movie and yes it features Hulk Hogan. Now whilst Hogan may be comfortable in the wrestling ring he certainly doesn't look comfortable in this and to be honest it is quite an uncomfortable experience for those watching as well because it is beyond bad and languishes in the realms of what were they thinking?
Having retired from active duty former agent Joe McGray (Hulk Hogan - Rocky III) enjoys the quiet life on a tropical island where he observe nature including the turtles. It's through his love of turtles that he comes across an ancient map, scratched into the shell which shows they way to a legendary hidden treasure. But that map is of interest to others especially his arch nemesis Alanso Richter (Grace Jones) who shows up on the island and sets about finding the treasure as well as making life hard for Joe.
"McCinsey's Island" feels like one of those 2 part episodes which occasionally show up in a sitcom, the sort where they leave the studio for a sort of vacation special. It has that visual style, the slim storyline, the numerous set piece gags and that feeling of being a two parter. That two parter spends half the movie setting the scene from Joe being a retired agent, his arch nemesis happens to be on his island paradise and that they're is buried treasure to be found. The second half is all about finding the treasure, rescuing those who get caught by the evil nemesis and Joe along with his pal Walter basically winning, once they've stopped for a couple of sleeps and something to eat. It's slim, silly and to be honest ultimately pointless.
But then alongside this story of agents and arch enemies there is also the humour, well sort of humour as it is as slim as the storyline. And again the humour reminds me of a sitcom with various minor set pieces and weak gags. It doesn't help that it doesn't seem to know who its target audience is and so the various jokes are neither juvenile nor biting, just barely mediocre.
And then there is the acting and as already mentioned Hogan most certainly doesn't come across as being either comfortable or confident in what is he doing. But then to be honest he's not the only one as Robert Vaughn seems there in body and not in mind whilst Grace Jones seems to be acting as if she's in another movie.
What this all boils down to is that "McCinsey's Island" truly is a bad movie and even those who are fans of Hogan will struggle to get any pleasure from it. I usually try to find something positive to say about a movie but I am completely at a loss to find anything positive to say.