The Horror of Comedy Horror
Let's be honest what do you expect from a movie called "Lesbian Vampire Killers", it shouldn't be much and all you should expect is some nudity and horror spoof laughs especially seeing it stars comedians James Corden and Mathew Horne. But the trouble is that because comedians Simon Pegg and Nick Frost delivered the immensely entertaining "Shaun of the Dead" a few years earlier you end up expecting Corden and Horne to deliver something as good and sadly it isn't. In fact in comparison "Lesbian Vampire Killers" is a bad movie from a storyline which is so stupid you don't bother following through to humour which to be honest isn't really funny. To put it simply you shouldn't expect much and you don't get much, a few laughs in amongst a lot of nonsense and a lot of forced swearing.
Having been dumped for the umpteenth time by his girlfriend Judy (Lucy Gaskell), Jimmy (Mathew Horne) is in need of a break and so is his best mate Fletch (James Corden) who as a child's performer is sacked for punching a child. After a few lagers and with no money they decide to go hiking and a dart thrown at a map leads them to Cragwich in Norfolk where they stumble upon a bevy of beauties all there to research the legend of Vampire Queen Carmilla (Silvia Colloca), who put a curse on Cragwich that when a girl turns 18 she also turns into a Lesbian vampire.
To be honest "Lesbian Vampire Killers" was always going to struggle because of "Shaun of the Dead" being such a good horror spoof and sadly whilst spoofing Hammer Horror instead of Romero Zombies it just doesn't compete. It sort of starts quite well as we get introduced to best mates Jimmy and Fletch as well as the back story to the legend of Vampire Queen Carmilla but it doesn't take long for the storyline to become unimportant. That point basically arrives when we meet the 4 smoking hot babes leaving the Baron's Rest Inn because from then on everything descends into complete nonsense. I don't suppose for a minute the idea was to create a storyline which demanded attention but this lack of coherent storyline is one of the issues which spoils things.
What this ends up meaning is that "Lesbian Vampire Killers" unsurprisingly descends into a barrage of jokes and sexy scenes as we have Fletch swearing, drinking, making cock jokes and watching sexy babes and sexy lesbian vampires dance. But very little of this is in fact funny or at least not funny for anyone expecting anything approaching clever humour. It becomes a case of throwing jokes at the audience which sort of try to be gross out but end up being quite tame and when it's not doing that it is relying on Corden spewing out a variety of swear words. Sorry Mr. Corden but the forced swearing in "Lesbian Vampire Killers" is neither clever nor funny and makes your character seem like an oik rather than a loveable rogue.
And that is the next problem which dogs "Lesbian Vampire Killers" the characters because whilst we're meant to to like Jimmy and Fletch it's not exactly easy to. As already mentioned Fletch's frequent swearing just isn't funny and at times borders on being Tourettes as one forced and out of place swear word follows another. And then there is Jimmy who spends the entire movie in the shadow of Fletch and so comes over as weak rather than loveable. It's frustrating as Corden and Horne were a good comedy double act but here none of it comes across and to be honest it often feels like Mathew Horne didn't want to make the movie whilst James Corden was more enthusiastic.
What this all boils down to is that "Lesbian Vampire Killers" disappointed even when I didn't expect much from it to start with. From the utter nonsense of a story which becomes less and less important through to swearing being used as humour it just doesn't gel with barely a handful of scenes which genuinely made me laugh. Maybe younger audiences who will enjoy the brief moments of nudity and the frequent swearing will find it fun but sadly for those who are hoping for Corden and Horne to have done a Pegg and Frost will be left wanting.
Tags: Vampire Movies
