A Grim Fairytale
At the school for fairytale characters Jack (Colin Ford) learns from the Headmaster (Christopher Lloyd) that he is flunking heroism class and needs to make a sacrifice and do something heroic by Monday or else. So to start with Jack sacrifices his beloved cow computer game console in return for a few magic beans which when he gets home he tosses out of his window. Those magic beans sprout a giant beanstalk which Jack along with Grayson the Goose and his friend Jillian (Chloe Moretz) climb so that he can prove himself a hero by doing battle with a giant.
Twice in one day, I might as well go to bed and hope tomorrow is better. You won't have a clue what I am on about but I am on about movies which you can see are full of jokes yet every single joke fails to get a laugh. "Jack and the Beanstalk" is the movie I am on about and the second failure I have watched today which you can kind of see what it is aiming for but fails to get anywhere close to.
So what is "Jack and the Beanstalk" trying for? Well to start with it throws this idea of a school for fairytale characters where Jack is in a class with such delights as the Ugly Sisters and Sleeping Beauty. It is kind of amusing but for grown ups it is clearly under developed and basically name drops characters rather than does anything with them. But then after this attempt to create this cross over fairytale kingdom it then sort of settles on Jack and the Beanstalk with young Jack along with thanks to magic a mutated goose which is half human and Jack's friend Jillian heading up the beanstalk to retrieve the harp to be heroic. The thing is that it is completely dull for grown ups with everything so forced that you almost begin to cringe at the jokes.
But of course "Jack and the Beanstalk" is made for children and I would guess that under tens will probably find it all quite amusing especially if they can recognize all the fairytale elements which are thrown together. In fact it is youngsters who are likely going to find Gilbert Gottfried and his particular style of humour amusing.
What this all boils down to is that "Jack and the Beanstalk" didn't do it for me and I am sure there will be many a grown up who feels the same if they sat down to watch this with their children. But for young children it might just about entertain, just about.