Arachnoquake (2012) Megan Adelle, Gralen Bryant Banks, Paul Boocock, Edward Furlong Movie Review

Arachnoquake (2012)   2/52/52/52/52/5

Bug Hall and Olivia Hardt in Arachnoquake (2012)

Bug Hall vs Giant Albino Spiders

After a series of powerful earthquakes rock New Orleans, fissures which have formed release giant albino spiders that attack any living thing they come across. Paul (Bug Hall) a tour guide with a bus of disgruntled passengers find themselves having to battle to survive as every road they take is blocked either by abandoned vehicles or these giant spiders. And it is Charlie who realises that not only must there be an even bigger, mother spider somewhere but these spiders are vulnerable to sunlight. What a shame that a total eclipse is on the cards.

Giant albino spiders, huge fissures, total eclipses you couldn't make this shit up. But you could make even wilder shit up with women basketball players taking a swing at these mutant spiders and a hot young woman whose sole purpose in this movie is to flash a smile and looking ridiculously hot in her tight shorts and tight top. And now I am already running out of things to say about "Arachnoquake" which is dafter than "Sharknado".

In a way that is the problem with "Arachnoquake" because it is trying to be funny and watched now you would slot it in alongside the likes of "Sharknado" and "Piranha" but it doesn't have the production values to make it work. Everything about it comes across as bitty as if much of it was written on the fly and as such it goes from being enjoyably daft to damn right ridiculous and annoying for being so.

What this all boils down to is that "Arachnoquake" is kind of amusing purely because of its intentionally bad storyline, bad special effects and intentional comical styling. But it is lacking something which allows all the daftness to work and in the end it ends up more annoying than stupid fun.