The Covenant (2006)
Six Packs & Knickers
Six Packs & knickers, those two things dominate "The Covenant" or at least they dominate the memories I have of it. That doesn't say much for this teen horror but then I guess I'm not in the target demographic as this is a pretty boy supernatural movie about teen warlocks. Maybe those who adore the "Twilight" movies will enjoy it as it is very much an eye candy movie and delivers exactly that for those who like simple, even dumb entertainment but for those wanted serious supernatural action and drama should magical themselves off else where.
At Spenser Academy everyone knows the Sons of Ipswich Caleb, Pogue, Tyler and Reid but what they don't know is that they are Warlocks, the teenage descendants of an ancient coven of witches. But there is a fifth Warlock who returns after being banished and seeks revenge by going after the Sons and their loved ones which for Caleb means the pretty Sarah is in danger.
If I was 16 years old and female I would hazard a guess that I would enjoy "The Covenant". It has some pretty boy stars with defined six packs; it also has pretty but not fake girls, action which is very visual and some teen angst. That is it and can be summed up by saying that Caleb has to deal with the return of the fifth son who wants revenge and so save the day, so even more basically good verses evil.
But I am not a 16 year old girl and "The Covenant" ended up a bad movie which with every scene edging ever closer to the point of being amusingly bad. It starts with the fact that it is very much a pretty boy movie where the boys spend too much time with their shirts off whilst the girls walk about in underwear. Then there is the dialogue which is simply corny beyond belief especially when the bad guy starts spouting on about "Little Miss Muffet". And as for the action, well it is all special effect battles which whilst nicely done are not that thrilling.
What that all means when it comes to the acting the cast which includes Steven Strait, Taylor Kitsch and Sebastian Stan are there to look good rather than deliver convincing characters which is what they do.
What this all boils down to is that "The Covenant" belongs with the "Twilight" movies as it is all about the visual appeal rather than the story. Does that make it bad? Technically no because it probably does work for its target audience but for anyone else it is corny, weak and ultimately all about six packs and knickers.
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