Frozen Impact (2003)
It Never Rains but it Hails
After watching "Frozen Impact" you won't know whether to laugh or cry in fact you are likely to be doing both, tears of laughter. The thing is that you shouldn't be as "Frozen Impact" is a disaster movie but it is such a bad one even by TV movie standards that it becomes hilarious. From giant fake looking hail stones to preposterous dialogue and an even more preposterous spiralling chain of events you won't be able to stop laughing in disbelief. But the crazy thing is that I don't know whether "Frozen Impact" is intentionally that bad, it seems to play things out seriously yet so much is so corny that you feel they must have been aiming for corny.
After a climbing incident a year earlier left young Jason Blanchard (Myles Jeffrey) with a damaged liver his family has become fractured as each other blames themselves for what happened. But now a miracle has happened as his mother Dr. Christy (Linda Purl) learns a match has been found and a new liver is on its way to Rutland via private jet. Except freak weather conditions causing giant hail stones which causes chaos as the plane crashes, Jason gets trapped, the transplant surgeon can't make it and a whole lot of destruction which with only a few hours before the liver will no longer be any good makes it a race against time.
Right from the start it is impossible to take "Frozen Impact" seriously as we encounter the giant hail stones which demolish a barn. But that is nothing compared to the spiralling chain of events which are to follow, full of coincidences and corny dialogue that by the time it is over you will be laughing. I have never seen anything as outrageous as what happens in "Frozen Impact" and unbelievable doesn't do it justice especially when it comes to the final dramatic scenes which are likely to have you laughing uncontrollably.
The daft thing is that I don't think it was intentional to make "Frozen Impact" an intentionally bad movie or at least not as corny as it turns out. Everything is played out in a serious amnner and there are no intentional jokes thrown in to try and make you laugh or spoofs of disaster movie scenes. But everything from the chain of disasters, the corny dialogue through to the actual characters are so corny that you start to think maybe it was intentional.
The irony of this is that taken seriously "Frozen Impact" is terrible, technically it is one of the worst disaster movies I have ever watched even for a made for TV movie. But then it ends up one of the most entertaining for being so laughably bad and after you realise that there is going to be little more than corny you kind of start looking forward to the next bad scene, corny moments of dialogue or fake hail stones. It sort of proves the fact that a movie doesn't have to be good to be enjoyable and this is one of the most enjoyable bad movies I have had the pleasure to watch.
What this all boils down to is that if you see "Frozen Impact" on the TV schedule and think it could be a decent disaster movie then think again. I'm not saying don't watch it, in fact I suggest you do but be ready for one of the funniest bad movies you are ever likely to watch.
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