Donkey Punch (2008)

Nichola Burley as Tammi in Donkey Punch (2008)

I Know What You Did on the Boat

Once upon a time Alfred Hitchcock made a movie called "Lifeboat", the entire movie was shot in the confines of a single boat and it was lush in atmosphere and drama. Many years later writer and director Oliver Blackburn has done something similar as we have a party of 7 aboard a boat and whilst the intro has drama on land the majority of the sexually titled "Donkey Punch" takes place on the boat. But they are very different movies because "Donkey Punch" is the sea faring equivalent of a "I Know what you did ..." horror movie as someone dies aboard the boat and we watch the fall out as some want to cover up the death whilst others feel they should do the right thing. To some that may sound like a worthy horror movie, a teen horror flick at sea but for me it is one of the most shockingly poor movies I have watched.

Friends Lisa (Sian Breckin) and Kim (Jaime Winstone) are helping friend Tammi (Nichola Burley) get over her ex with some holiday partying and being typical ladettes they are crawling the bars, having drinks and flirting with men. It is how they end up aboard a luxury boat with 4 lads who are the ships crew and with a boat to themselves head out to sea for some sex, drugs and loud music. But things so tragically wrong when a sex act ends up in the death of one of the girls leaving the rest of them split between covering up what they have done or returning to shore.

Jaime Winstone and Julian Morris in Donkey Punch (2008)

For a brief minute I thought "Donkey Punch" was going to be good and it was the most innocuous of moments where one of the girls is shaving her armpit and she cuts herself. It is a shock and a cringe moment and that brief moment made me think that maybe just maybe here we have a horror which would ply us with these sudden shocks which make you cringe. But in the end the only thing which made me cringe was the movie itself as we watch this group of young adults end up on a boat and take part in a surprisingly explicit sex scene, if it was meant to shock it almost did.

Now the whole point of "Donkey Punch" is what happens after the accidental death as we watch each selfish survivor pretty much look out for them selves. The trouble is that because everyone is selfish there is no one to champion even the one who is innocent of and so what we watch is some arguing over what to do, some fighting, power struggles and of course a few more deaths. None of it is exciting and seems to be made for those who just want gore, who want to be turned on by any form of violence and if some one bleeds all the better. It's not for me and whilst I am sure the intention was first to shock and then become engaged in the acts of a selfish generation it doesn't work.

I think what is more disappointing is the waste of talent because the actual cast is exciting Jaime Winstone, Julian Morris and Sian Breckin all have an edge to their acting but that doesn't show up here. And it boils down to the fact that none of the characters are likeable and most of them act in a cliche manner.

What this all boils down to is that "Donkey Punch" is not for me and it felt like a weak "I Know What You Did ... " type horror which traded on base level horror and sex. Maybe an 18 year old me would have enjoyed it for the sex and violence but that is the only thing you can watch it for.