Creep Van (2012)
The Pimped Out Punisher
It is a vicious circle; with no car it is hard to get a job but without a job how can you afford a car. It is something which Campbell Jackson knows all too well as he is unemployed and struggling to find work, forced to take a crappy little job at a car wash. It is there he spots a beaten up van for sale and tries to call the mysterious owner about buying it. What Campbell doesn't know is that it is The Creep Van which along with its owner has been going around killing anyone who enters with its array of sadistic gadgets and running down those which flee. Realising just in the nick of time Campbell must find a way to stop The Creep and his van before it gets him and his girlfriend.
It doesn't take long for you to guess when watching "Creep Van" that this is a "one man with a video recorder movie", the term I give to those movies which feel like they have been made by film school students as part of their course work with a single camera and some friends. If I need to make it clearer then we are talking low budget, poorly edited, poorly written and featuring actors who are often less than convincing.
Now "Creep Van" is curious because it feels like two movies slammed together with plenty of cracks where they meet. So on one hand we have comedy, lots of comedy surrounding Campbell being a putz who gets pushed around by others at work, falls over whilst running for the bus, suffers the embarrassment of a pocket full of condoms falling out on a date whilst also fantasizing about one of his colleagues in a bikini and tiara. It is the sort of comedy which never feels natural and more often than not it is actually painful to watch.
But then we have the other side of the movie surrounding the run down old van and his mysterious driver who has pimped this old van to be a lethal weapon with seat belts which slice into people's necks and spikes which shoot through the seats at a flick of a switch. Whilst this side is nothing more than a series of gore set pieces done on an amateur level it is the more entertaining side.
What this all boils down to is that "Creep Van" is one of those low budget movies which you probably don't intend on watching and once it is on you debate whether to bother with it. As low budget movies go I have watched a lot worse but this like most it is forgettably weak.
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