Confessions of an American Bride (2005)
I wanted to like "Confessions of an American Bride" purely because it starred the attractive Shannon Elizabeth, I know it is a shallow reason but sometimes you watch movies purely because of who the stars are. Unfortunately I didn't like it because it is so full on cheesy that it does your head in not long after it starts and becomes a battle to stay watching. Ironically the storyline itself which sees a bride dealing with interfering parents and a former crush is not in the least bit original but is not the problem which I thought it would be before watching.
Ever since she was a little girl Sam (Shannon Elizabeth - Cursed) has dreamed of her wedding, the fairytale church wedding after the fairytale proposal. After dating various men she finds the one, the charming Ben Rosen (Eddie McClintock - Picking Up & Dropping Off) who gives her a magical proposal. But there is a problem as Ben in Jewish and his parents are against a church wedding and then there is the fact that having spent her entire life dreaming of her wedding Sam turns into a bridezilla driving a wedge between her and Ben. But that is nothing to the problem which arrives when she finds herself working the advertising campaign for her childhood sweetheart, the one that got away.
So as I hinted at "Confessions of an American Bride" is not in the least bit original with a collection of cliches from the cultural battle of the wedding to the teen crush showing up to make Sam conflicted over who the right guy for her is. But as I said the obviousness of the storyline is not a problem nor is the cliche humour such as when they go registering for gifts and Ben plays action hero with the barcode gun. In many ways the set up could have worked to be an average but amusing rom-com.
But from the incessant use of inner monologue to the intentional attempt to be corny is aggravating. No aggravating is not a strong enough word for it, it is insufferable and within 10 minutes of "Confessions of an American Bride" starting it is already bringing on a headache. And it never stops as it becomes an onslaught of corny, in your face comedy beating you in to a brain dead submission.
In the end the best thing about "Confessions of an American Bride" is the simple fact that Shannon Elizabeth is pretty and Eddie McClintock is rom-com handsome. I wouldn't say there is any chemistry between them, I wouldn't say that their characters are interesting or entertaining but they are easy on your eye.
What this all boils down to is that "Confessions of an American Bride" could have been an averagely fun comedy but ended up simply unbearably annoying.
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