Buying the Cow (2002)
Some movies are on late at night because they're not suitable for younger eyes but some movies are on late at night because no one wants to watch them. "Buying the Cow" whilst technically a sex comedy, a lame one at that, is on late at night because no one would want to watch it. I'm serious because it is so lame that it is 90 minutes of pain which only occasionally finds a joke when the focus shifts to a subplot and Ryan Reynolds rather than Jerry O'Connell.
For 5 years David (Jerry O'Connell - Scream 2) and Sarah (Bridgette Wilson-Sampras - The Wedding Planner) have been dating but when their friend says he is getting married it brings things to ahead as David doesn't want to commit. With Sarah away for two months on business she gives him an ultimatum; to work out what he wants unfortunately his friends Mike (Ryan Reynolds - Sabrina the Teenage Witch) and Jonesy (Bill Bellamy) are not the best people he should be seeking for advice. And just to muddy waters further he spots an attractive woman in a diner but before he can speak to her she is gone but he thinks she is the one.
Maybe it is the fact that "Buying the Cow" with its comedy about commitment issues is not that original but something about it just doesn't work. It could be that the characters are not that interesting as David, Sarah, Jonesy and even Mike are non-descript caricatures. And unfortunately with the exception of Ryan Reynolds performance as Mike the acting is as ordinary as the characters. Seriously for a movie which is technically a sex comedy it is pretty limp.
But the real trouble is that "Buying the Cow" is 99% not funny with a series of stock scenes as we watch Mike go after "the one" as he tries to deal with why he doesn't want to commit. A scene which sees O'Connell with a mullet and a misadventure involving a young girl is simply painful and the scenes which see him arrange several dates on the same night is even worse. The only time "Buying the Cow" comes close to being funny when it focuses on Ryan Reynolds as Mike as he begins to doubt his own sexuality. It's a crude scene when this happens but it is one of the very few genuinely funny moments in the whole movie which also includes Ryan Reynolds doing a testicle tuck scene.
What this all boils down to is that "Buying a Cow" has a reasonable cast and in fairness a decent soundtrack but beyond that it is painfully unfunny.
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