Boa vs. Python (2004)
Snakes in the Drain
Your equipment is incredible - Emmett
If a movie was made to be intentionally bad does it mean it is a bad movie if that is how it comes across? I ask because "Boa vs. Python" is bad, it is chock full of cliches, corny dialogue, cheesy characters, poor special effects, lousy writing and pretty much everything which you would normally criticize a movie for but then all of this was intentional or I hope so. Technically I feel like I should be condemning this movie for being so bad but I can't because you know that to be so tacky could only have been done intentionally and by being so tacky, so low grade it is actually entertaining.
When an 80-foot python being shipped into the United States by wealthy hunter and casino owner Broddick (Adamo Palladino) special agent Sharpe (Kirk B.R. Woller) enlists the help of snake expert Emmett (David Hewlett) and behavioural scientist Monica (Jaime Bergman) to try and track the Python down using Emmett's giant Boa. At the same time Broddick has assembled a group of hunters to also go after his Python in a big snake safari.
It doesn't take long for "Boa vs. Python" to establish its intentions when we get an early scene featuring a naked woman, it is not the only sexual scene in the movie which includes one featuring a large snake and a woman in a car, but it does scream b-movie. And so it goes on because everything about "Boa vs. Python" is intentionally b-movie at its corniest from characters which are over the top caricatures to the cornball dialogue they spout. The action is just as bad with a comically macabre tone and then we have of course a typical moment of romance as Monica and Emmett connect as they go snake hunting. It is typical and very cheesy but as I said all of this intentional as no one could write such corny dialogue or create such terrible characters accidentally.
As for the actual storyline well to be honest it plays second fiddle because whilst we have a giant snake on the loose and another one being used to track it down it is uninteresting. It is basically a predictable vehicle which is perfect for all the intentional corny aspects although there are times when it gets so ridiculous it is more hilarious than expected especially when the big action climax takes place in a subway.
And as for the acting it is enjoyably bad or maybe well acted bad because every single character is so cheesy that I am not sure whether it was actors doing a good job of cheesing things us or that they were just bad. It is why I am strangely perplexed because normally I would say that "Boa vs. Python" is a bad movie but I am sure the intention was to make one the cheesiest b-movies ever and if that was the case then this movie achieved what it set out to. The only let down, although it isn't a huge surprise, is that there is very little snake on snake action and really only comes right at the end with everything before being about the over the top characters.
What this all boils down to is that "Boa vs. Python" shouldn't be watched if you are hoping for some exciting creature feature or snake on snake action. But if you enjoy bad movies then give it a go because there is so much corniness and cheese that "Boa vs. Python" feels like it has been written to be intentionally bad and as such succeeds.
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