Movie Details
Recommendation

Arachnoquake (2012)

 
 

Bug Hall vs Giant Albino Spiders

Now that is how you make jambalaya - Charlie

Bug Hall and Olivia Hardt in Arachnoquake (2012)

After a series of powerful earthquakes rock New Orleans, fissures which have formed release giant albino spiders that attack any living thing they come across. Paul (Bug Hall) a tour guide with a bus of disgruntled passengers find themselves having to battle to survive as every road they take is blocked either by abandoned vehicles or these giant spiders. And it is Charlie who realises that not only must there be an even bigger, mother spider somewhere but these spiders are vulnerable to sunlight. What a shame that a total eclipse is on the cards.

Giant albino spiders, huge fissures, total eclipses you couldn't make this shit up. But you could make even wilder shit up with women basketball players taking a swing at these mutant spiders and a hot young woman whose sole purpose in this movie is to flash a smile and looking ridiculously hot in her tight shorts and tight top. And now I am already running out of things to say about "Arachnoquake" which is dafter than "Sharknado".

In a way that is the problem with "Arachnoquake" because it is trying to be funny and watched now you would slot it in alongside the likes of "Sharknado" and "Piranha" but it doesn't have the production values to make it work. Everything about it comes across as bitty as if much of it was written on the fly and as such it goes from being enjoyably daft to damn right ridiculous and annoying for being so.

What this all boils down to is that "Arachnoquake" is kind of amusing purely because of its intentionally bad storyline, bad special effects and intentional comical styling. But it is lacking something which allows all the daftness to work and in the end it ends up more annoying than stupid fun.

close

Movie Recommendations

Earth vs. the Spider

Earth vs. the Spider (2001)

Quentin Kemmer (Devon Gummersall) is a comic book geek who during the day w ...

MegaFault

MegaFault (2009)

As a mining explosives expert Charley 'Boomer' Baxter (Eriq La Salle) was j ...

Mega Shark vs. Giant Octopus

Mega Shark vs. Giant Octopus (2009)

When a giant octopus and a mega shark are inadvertently released from a fro ...

Meteor Apocalypse

Meteor Apocalypse (2010)

It was just another night for geologist David Dematti (Joe Lando) with his ...

Mega Shark vs. Crocosaurus

Mega Shark vs. Crocosaurus (2010)

Deep in the Congo a group of miners stumble across a prehistoric crocodile, ...

Mega Python vs. Gatoroid

Mega Python vs. Gatoroid (2011)

When animal activists steal a python from a research lab they release it in ...

Virus

Virus (1999)

When the trawler Sea Star gets caught in a typhoon and loses the barge they ...

Dinocroc vs. Supergator

Dinocroc vs. Supergator (2010)

At a secret laboratory on a tropical island a corporation owned by the weal ...

Meteorites!

Meteorites! (1998)

When the home belonging to the McConnell's is flattened in an explosion, Sh ...

Cockneys vs Zombies

Cockneys vs Zombies (2012)

As builders start clearing away ground for a new multi-million pound develo ...

Boa vs. Python

Boa vs. Python (2004)

When an 80-foot python being shipped into the United States by wealthy hunt ...

Earthstorm

Earthstorm (2006)

When a massive asteroid hits the Moon it has a knock on effect for the Eart ...

Asteroid vs. Earth

Asteroid vs. Earth (2014)

When a college intern spots a giant meteor is heading for earth a full mili ...

Polar Storm

Polar Storm (2009)

As a Comet passes close to Earth the world is gripped in excitement of this ...

Airplane vs Volcano

Airplane vs Volcano (2014)

A commercial flight finds itself in deep trouble when it finds itself boxed ...

Follow The Movie Scene

Follow The Movie Scene on Twitter Like The Movie Scene on facebook Join The Movie Scene on Gplus Subscribe to The Movie Scene's RSS