Casper Van Dien in 500 MPH Storm (2013)

It Blows Big Time

Technology which will revolutionize the way energy is created goes haywire causing mass hurricanes and apocalyptic mayhem as the weather intensifies, waves rise, tsunami's form and basically all hell breaks loose to the point America could be wiped out. In the midst of this almighty science cock up is Dr. Nathan Sims (Casper Van Dien) who was up in a hot air balloon when his colleagues flicked the switch on the new technology and now must try and get his family to safety by getting them to the top of a mountain before the merging storms cause a "hypercane".

Wow Casper Van Dien with a salt and pepper beard which is more salt than pepper, if I didn't know better I would say he is thinking of moonlighting as a Mall Santa with that level white beard showing. And who could blame him when he is appearing in such bad movies as this. Van Dien's beard will also be about the only thing you end up remembering about "500 MPH Storm" a disaster movie which is yet another one of those movies which have come out of The Asylum and should be watched with lower than low expectations.

The thing about "500 MPH Storm" is that rather strangely it seems like a vehicle purely for special effects as the storyline about a revolutionary energy system causing major weather issues is weak. It's not just weak, it is stretched out, unconvincing and frankly uninteresting. Now I did say strangely and that is because those who know their Asylum movies will know special effects are not necessarily something you would watch their movies for and again this isn't one of them as the special effects and CGI is poor. The trouble is that it is not the sort of poor which is entertaining for being bad, it is simply bad.

What this all boils down to is that "500 MPH Storm" is just another bad disaster movie with little storyline and weak special effects but sadly not so bad that it ends up being entertaining for sucking. The daftest thing about these disaster movies from The Asylum is that you know they are more likely going to be bad rather than good yet in a perverse way you keep on coming back for more almost to see how bad they can get.