10,000 BC (2008)
Before Choosing Think Carefully
"10,000 BC" reminds me of a scene from "The Big Bang Theory" where the geeks have done something high techy techy and Penny asks why which they respond with "because we can". Now in fairness there is more to "10,000 BC" than "because we can" because it is obvious that whilst Roland Emmerich has filled the movie with special effects there is a storyline of sorts to back it up. The trouble is that the storyline is dull, the special effects not that special and for what on paper sounds like it should be an exciting drama ends up a yawn fest making it a movie made because we can not because we should.
A long long time ago in a fictional past where are prehistoric ancestors spoke in English as if they were trying to talk to someone in a foreign country lives D'Leh (Steven Strait) a young mammoth hunter who is sweet on the beautiful Evolet (Camilla Belle). When a group of Warlords swoop into their camp and kidnap Evolet it is D'Leh and a small group of hunters who head off to get Evolet back, a journey over snow capped mountains full of danger from wild animals.
Technically "10,000 BC" is not a terrible movie, there are a lot worse out there but it is so disappointing that it feels like one of the worst movies ever made. In fact it is so disappointing that if I could I would wipe it from my memory as there is nothing about it be it the storyline, the action, the special effects or characters which is good.
Trying to sum up want went wrong is probably easier starting with actors speaking in English but in that primitive way as if they are trying to communicate with someone who speaks another language. It just sounds wrong and whilst I am grateful that they went with the main actors using English something more realistic would have been better. But then maybe it wouldn't because what the characters have to say is so uninteresting anyway.
Aside from that we have the actual storyline of our small group of hunters lead by D'Leh trying to rescue the pretty Evolet which to be honest is uninspiring. But worse is the fact that at 109 minutes "10,000 BC" is not overly long but feels exceptionally drawn out. And as for the special effects well at times it feels like the recreating of prehistoric animals was done with prehistoric technology or at least technology over a decade old.
What this all boils down to is that "10,000 BC" is not good and for what wants to be a prehistoric epic it ends up little more than a yawn fest. The only thing memorable about it is actresses Camilla Belle who through either contact lenses or CGI has eyes which pop and which grab your attention.
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